Leaving Trinidad And Coming To America

 

I was born and raised in Trinidad where the tradition and culture are quite different from other countries.  Different in many ways, for example, the climate is very hot during the year and another example, Trinidadians use a lot of spices in their food which makes it very tasty.  My parents raised six of us.  I was the fifth born.  I was born a breach child which made me feel like I was the odd child in the family, but as I got older, I felt more secure in myself.  I considered myself shy because I always stayed to myself.  However, my family members called me the hot pepper (by this I mean I was quick tempered) as I grew older.  This bothered me throughout my life because I saw things through a different lens.  But as time passed, I began to see myself differently.

My father was a tall, slim man who came from a wealthy family but despite the family’s wealth, we lived in poverty. My father always dressed in a suit, so he was always addressed as Mr. Cummings.  People who knew him well were aware of his family lifestyle, all strict and to the point.  My father was respected by many because he was a very strict man.  My father worked for a Radio Station called Radio Fusion, which was a good job.  He was a good provider and a good father. I always remember him bringing food home when he came from work. 

My mother was a hard-working woman. She was always contently washing and doing all the household chores.  I particularly remembered her ironing the clothes late at night, (in those days we used cold pot iron) you put the iron on some coals until the coals become hot. In the morning, you could see all the effort and time that was put into it, the was so well ironed, folded and pressed.  There were also many sad days in my mother’s days when we were growing up.   My mother was superstitious. As a child, I had no knowledge of what happened in my mother’s days with her family, but it was not a happy time for her.  I was exposed to a lot of different beliefs.  For example, turn your back and walk inside your house.

You must turn around at your doorway and walk backwards inside your home to look a jumbie (spirit of the dead) in its eyes. It is said that when a spirit follows you home, it grabs on to your back like a child so that you can carry it with you inside of your house. Turning around and walking backwards into your home scares the jumbie, it jumps off your back and stays outside.

I was born and raised in Belmont. Belmont produced many residents who made significant contributions in the areas of sports and also arts such as Steelband, Cricket, Music Bands and many favorite eating places.  Let me describe a few of them to you.

Steelband is very famous in Trinidad, especially around the Carnival season.  To name a few is Amboy’s, Belmont Harmonic, Casablanca, Classy Sounds, Pan Vibes, Super Sonics and many others.

Calypso:  Calypsonians who were born in Belmont include:  Lord Caresser, Mighty Shadow, and David Rudder.

Music Band:  Bert Bailey and the Jets, Mas (querade) Bands

Cricketers born in Belmont who went on to represent the West Indies in Test Cricket were Ellis Achong, Ian Bishop, Bryan Davis, Charles Davis, and Andy Ganteaume.

Every year, Trinidadians enjoy the excitement of carnival, a west Indian parade celebrated in February.  Costumes are designed by many band leaders and the people masquerade by showing the costumes and parading the streets and dancing.  Many New Yorkers and many people from various countries attend this festival.  It is a pleasure to see.  I remembered when growing up in Trinidad my parents will cook palau, a menu that consists of rice and beans, sometimes chicken all mixed in together.   The family will all take pride in traveling to the Band Stand where seats are assigned for the spectators.  I enjoyed every moment watching all the people parading in their costumes.

Life in Trinidad could be wonderful but on the other hand could be financially hard.  Such as having to deal with the economy.  Prices of various items are so expensive, which made it hard for our family.  As a child I remembered my mother working odd jobs to make ends meet to provide for our family.  Having both my parents to support the household was a great help to our family.

My parents also wanted a better life for their children. My mom left Trinidad to come to America, the land of opportunity, when I was ten. And one by one, she brought over each child, starting with my sister who was the oldest. During this time my father began to get sick.

When my father took sick, I was responsible for helping him with many personal tasks.  I stayed by his side after he became sick. I was glad that I was there to help him. I spent my teenage years caring for my daddy, and they were some of the hardest years of my young life. As his youngest daughter, I always had a special place in my daddy’s heart, and he will always have a very special place in mine.  My mom, who was living in America, was called home from New York when he became very sick.  

My father died.  I loved my father but there was nothing I could do to help him at the time.  God took him to a better place.  He died from asthma.    No one knows what a person goes through unless that person discusses it, but the Lord has a way of working things out.  

My mother made arrangements to bring me to America after the death of my father.  Maybe if he had come to America, he might have had better medical treatment, but my father did not really want to travel to America.   I believe, being there for my father when he was sick was a way that God was showing me that when you honor your parents, God will always honor you.  I was glad to be able to help my daddy before he died.

My father’s death was very painful for me.  I watched my father as he slowly died. For a long time, I felt hurt, and I longed to see his face just one last time. But I knew deep inside that he was suffering and though I wanted him to stay, God decided that it was time for him to go.

The year my father died, was 1973, my mother filed papers for me and brought me to America, just like she did for the rest of my siblings.  I came to America at the age of 16. Travelling on the plane with my mother was an exciting trip. It was a bit different in a sense, I did not want to sit by the window because of fear, so my mother sat by the window. It was a safe and relaxing flight. All the while during the trip, I dreamt that my daddy was there on the flight with us, and we were all going to America.

New York was the busiest city that I have ever seen. New York City is the place where people from different countries come to make a better life for themselves and their family.

When I arrived, my mother took me to the apartment in which she lived with my other siblings. I had to travel on the train for the first time and it was very interesting and very scary but after a few stops I got used to it. Seeing people from all walks of life. I learnt that riding the trains is very common for the native New Yorker.  When you are sitting down in the cars you cannot look too hard into people’s faces. If you do, they are quick to say something to you.  I’ve seen and witnessed many bad experiences from people who ride the subway.  I quickly adapted how to be a true New Yorker. And being acquainted with THE BIG APPLE.  There were also many yellow cabs to take you to wherever you want to go, unless you were my skin complexion. We had to use gypsy cabs, that were driven by people from the islands.  

Coming to America was not what I expected the country to be.  In my country, the names we know for certain places or facilities are named differently.  For example, we call bathroom, latrine.  (LA-TRENE) This is common for all Trinidadians.  We call tomato, TA-MA-TOE. 

My mother got me into High School.  I started out in High School where the work was much different than in Trinidad.  I started High School in the U.S. at a later age, however, I graduated. It was a beautiful time having my mother and sister attending my graduation with the rest of my friends and their parents as well. But I just wished that my daddy could have seen me strutting across that stage, he would have been so proud to see his baby girl get her high school diploma.

Throughout the years, I have been fortunate to have developed a relationship with Jesus. God has filled all those empty places in my heart that the love of my earthly daddy once filled. I found a greater love with a heavenly Father that loves me unconditionally and promises to never leave me nor forsake me.

You may be reading this, and you have a sick father or maybe your father has passed on. So, I want to encourage you that you have a Heavenly Father that will always be there with you. He will be there when you graduate, and He will be there to walk you down the aisle. Your Heavenly Father will be there through joy and more so when you are going through one of life’s difficulties. And Your Heavenly Father Approves This Message!

 

 

 

 

Embrace The Power Of Diversity

I'm a huge believer in the power of diversity.  The Oxford dictionary defines diversity as: (the practice or quality of including or involving people from a range of different social and ethnic backgrounds and of different genders, sexual orientations). We live in a world of so many different cultures, experiences, and opinions, and I believe that the more we embrace this fact, the richer and more vibrant our lives can be.

Growing up, I remember feeling a little bit like an outsider. I was born in a different country, Trinidad, so I never felt like I quite fit in. But as I got older, I was able to appreciate the beauty of my unique background and experience. I realized that I could draw on my diverse background to enrich my life and the lives of others.

Are you a woman struggling to make a difference in a world that often seems hostile to you? Do you feel like you are stuck in a rut, unable to break out and make your mark? It’s time to stop feeling like you don’t belong and start embracing the power of diversity!

I've also come to understand that diversity isn't just about race or culture. It's about being open to different ideas and perspectives. It's about recognizing and respecting the fact that not everyone will think the same way or agree on the same issues. Instead of seeing this as a source of division, we can use this to create meaningful dialogue and understanding.

Diversity can be an incredibly powerful tool to help you make your mark in the world. Whether it’s in the workplace, in your community, or in your personal life, embracing diversity can help you open to new opportunities and experiences. It can also help you build bridges to new relationships and make a difference in the lives of others.

Diversity can also be found in the smallest of things. For example, I love how different styles of music can bring together people from different backgrounds and cultures. Music has an amazing way of connecting people, and it's something that I cherish. Steel band is very popular in Trinidad, especially around carnival season.

When you embrace diversity, you create an environment that is more accepting, tolerant, and respectful of different backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs. This can help you to be more open-minded, compassionate, and understanding of people who are different from you. It can also help you to bridge cultural divides, break down stereotypes, and create a more inclusive environment.

In addition to these benefits, embracing diversity can also help you to become a better leader. When you embrace diversity, you can better understand and work with people who come from different backgrounds and experiences. This can help you to be a more effective leader, as you are able to better understand and relate to the people you are leading.

Finally, when you embrace diversity, you can be a role model for others in your community. You can show others that it’s possible to have a successful career, build meaningful relationships, and make a positive impact despite your differences. This can help you to inspire others to be more tolerant and open-minded, and to create a more inclusive environment.

At the end of the day, I believe that embracing diversity is the key to a better life. It allows us to experience the world in a whole new way, to learn more about ourselves and others, and to come together in a way that we never thought possible. We are all unique and special, and that's something that should never be taken for granted.

So, what are you waiting for? Embrace the power of diversity and make your mark in the world!  

It's Time To Take Back Control

 

Do you want to be happy without mortgaging your future, but find yourself constantly procrastinating? If you’re a struggling woman who’s had enough of this self-sabotaging habit, it’s time to take back control! Here’s how to beat procrastination for good and live the life of your dreams:

1. Identify what’s causing your procrastination.

The first step to beating procrastination is to get to the root of the problem. Are you feeling overwhelmed and unsure of how to start? Do you lack motivation or have difficulty focusing? Identifying the “why” behind your procrastination can help you develop a plan of action to address it.

It's easy to get stuck in a rut. To feel like you are stuck in the same place you were weeks ago, with no real progress being made. It's a discouraging place to be, and I know I've been there before. But I've learned a valuable lesson that I am going to show you today. I learnt to renew my mind. If you renew your mind, it doesn't have to stay that way.

I've discovered that renewing my mind is an essential part of reaching my goal. In order to reach my goal, I've had to learn to take a step back and focus on the big picture. I must be aware of the thoughts and feelings I'm having and actively work on changing them.


2. Break down your goal into manageable chunks.

Once you’ve identified what’s causing your procrastination, it’s time to break down your goal into smaller, more manageable chunks. This will help you focus on the task at hand and make it feel less overwhelming.

Change can be hard, Ms. Procrastinator, especially when it comes to renewing our minds. My mind can often feel like a stagnant pool, with no new ideas or motivation. But I’ve come to realize that in order to keep growing, I need to take the time to renew my mind.

Renewing my mind starts with a positive attitude and the belief that I can create change. Once I get into that mindset, I can start making small steps towards my goal. Whether it’s taking time to learn something new or engaging in a creative activity, I can start to see my mind opening up to new ideas.


3. Set realistic deadlines.

When it comes to beating procrastination, setting realistic deadlines is key. Create a timeline that’s within your reach and reward yourself for each milestone you reach. This will help you stay motivated and on track.

I also make sure to take time to rest and relax. Allowing my mind to take a break can help me gain clarity and perspective. Taking a break from the hustle and bustle of life gives me the opportunity to reflect on the changes I want to make and helps me to stay motivated.

Renewing my mind has been a journey, but it has been worth it. I'm now more aware of the thoughts I'm having and can use that knowledge to make positive changes. I've found that if I take the time to focus on the good, I can make a real difference in my life.

4. Eliminate distractions.

Distractions can be a major cause of procrastination, so it’s important to eliminate them as much as possible. Turn off your phone, log off social media, and find a quiet place to work. This way, you’ll be able to focus on the task at hand and avoid the temptation to procrastinate.

Another way to eliminate distractions is to stay away from people and situations that bring you down. It's important to surround yourself with positivity and people who lift you up. When I'm feeling down, I make it a point to spend time with people who make me feel good about myself and energize me.

One of the simplest and most effective ways I've found to keep from being distracted is to practice gratitude. It's easy to get caught up in the negative and forget to recognize all the good in our lives. But if we take the time to be thankful for the things we have, it can make a world of difference. And it’s also vey mind renewing.

5. Practice self-care.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to take a break and practice some self-care. Make time for activities that bring you joy and happiness, such as going for a walk, reading, or listening to music. This will help you stay refreshed and motivated. 

I’ve also found that surrounding myself with positive people and a supportive environment can be a great help in procrastination. Being around people who challenge me to think differently and see things from a new perspective helps me to break out of any ruts I may find myself in.

Finally, I make sure to take some time for myself. Whether it's reading a book, taking a walk, or just sitting in silence, I make sure to take some time to focus on just me. It's important to take a break from the hustle and bustle of life and just relax.

By following these steps, you’ll be able to break the cycle of procrastination and take back control of your life. So don’t wait – take action now, renew your mind and start living the life you’ve always dreamed of!

 

 

 

False Evidence Appearing Real

I wrote my first book, “Telling It All From The Heart” because I believed there was some stuff in me that I needed help with. I was struggling with some issues. One of the issues I struggled with was fear.  

As a young girl I remember when I came to America from Trinidad, being bullied in High School. My biggest fear was what someone would do or say to me if I did not do what they told me to do. I developed a very low self esteem growing up as a teenager in America.

I recall an incident during my junior year, some girls roughed me up because they wanted me to give them the answers to the big test. I ended up giving them the answers because I was filled with fear.

I soon developed a fear of people, which brought a negative aspect to my life that caused me to cry many tears and suffer great hurt. I can recall times of being afraid to talk to people. I became shy and withdrawn. When I became filled with fear, my emotions got out of control. Anytime I saw these girls coming, I tried my best to avoid them.

But finally, during my senior year, I decided I had enough of their bullying. I decided I had nothing to lose so I made up my mind to fight the leader of the group, and to my surprise, I ended up giving her a good lashing, and even though I ended up getting suspended, it was worth it because when I returned to school, nobody bothered to bully me again.  

We should not have a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. I have learned that we cannot be worried about what one will say, think or do to us. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.

I remembered, a couple of years ago, I was in a car accident that greatly impacted my life. I am blessed to be alive.

On my way to a speaking event, my husband and I, decided to switch cars and while I was parking my car, for some reason, my car instead of shifting into reverse to park, lunged forward and before I knew what hit me, my car had hit a short gate and flipped completely over.

The car was upside down across the street and I was suspended in mid-air with my hands on the steering wheel. The seat belt I was wearing securely strapped to my body kept me from being thrown from the vehicle.

For a brief moment, I had a flash back as my entire life passed before me. I had a déjà vu moment and every fearful event that I ever experienced came to life before me. And then I felt the Spirit of the Lord and suddenly this brilliant light flashed before my eyes, and 2 Timothy 1:7 came alive to me: God does not give us a spirit of fear…….and

Fear tried to take hold of me and all I could do was cry out to my husband, (When I met my husband, I knew right away, he was the man for me. The timing was right, as I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Tired of the old habits I was going through, such as hanging around with the wrong crowd. People always asking me, “When are you getting married?”)

having faith that all would be well. It turned out that my faith helped in letting go of some of the fear I encountered. I felt a stronger presence of God in that moment. And His Supernatural Love, entered my heart and removed any remaining fear.

Then I heard my husband’s voice and apparently out of nowhere two strangers appeared and helped my husband unbuckle my seatbelt and pull me from the vehicle. As my husband and I went to thank the men, poof…they had completely vanished.

It seemed like within minutes; the fire department arrived and flipped the car back on its four wheels and a tow truck appeared to take my vehicle to the repair shop.

The love is God is so amazing. We were still able to pick up my son and I was still able to speak at the event.

My original message wasn’t spoken that Sunday. Instead, I spoke: ‘Stay Focused Because God Totally Got This.” I spoke that day about love, family, and faith and how I came to overcome fear though faith which worketh through love because perfect love (God) cast out all fear.

And friends if I can leave you with one gold nugget. Let me leave you with this. If you are struggling or having a hard time dealing with fear, choose to substitute your fear with faith that worketh through love and no one or nothing will ever dare bully you ever again.

 

 

 

 

 

My Father

 

My father was respected by many because he was a very strict man.  My father worked for a Radio Station called Radio Fusion, which was a good job.  He was a good provider and a good father. I always remember him bringing food home when he came from work. 

My father was a tall, slim man who came from a wealthy family but despite the family’s wealth, we lived in poverty. My father always dressed in a suit, so he was always addressed as Mr. Cummings.  People who knew him well were aware of his family lifestyle, all strict and to the point.   

Life in Trinidad could be wonderful but on the other hand could be financially hard.  Such as having to deal with the economy.  Prices of various items are so expensive, which made it hard for our family.  As a child I remembered my mother working odd jobs to make ends meet to provide for our family.  Having both my parents to support the household was a great help to our family.   We used cold pot iron, which was very popular in Trinidad.  It is an iron that you make hot on a stove to iron clothes.  Kerosene lamps were also popular when I was growing up. 

When my father took sick, I was responsible for helping him with many personal tasks.  I lived with my father after he became sick. I was glad that I was there to help him.  My mom, who was living in America, was called home from New York when he became very sick.  My father died.  I loved my father but there was nothing I could do to help him at the time.  God took him to a better place.  He died from asthma.    No one knows what a person goes through unless that person discusses it, but the Lord has a way of working things out.  My mother brought me to America after the death of my father.  Maybe if he had come to America, he might have had better medical treatment, but my father did not really want to travel to America.   I believe, being there for my father when he was sick was a way that God was showing me that when you honor your parents, God will always honor you.  I was glad to be able to help my daddy before he died.

My father’s death was very painful for me.  I watched my father as he slowly died. For a long time, I felt hurt, and I longed to see his face just one last time. But I knew deep inside that he was suffering and though I wanted him to stay, God decided that it was time for him to go.

 

Steps To Transform Your Life

1. Changing your thoughts.
2. Making necessary changes.
3. Going after your dreams.
4. Setting Goals and doing them.
5. Being around positive people who value you.

Changing Your Thoughts

Changing your thoughts can change your life. You can think positive and be negative at the same time.  You must change the way you perceive things. Good and perfect thoughts give you inner peace.  When your thoughts are good, your life is good. 

Making Necessary Changes

Let us talk a little about making changes.  Some people want to change certain areas of their lives; others prefer to transform their whole lives.  In order to transform your life, you must have a desire to make these changes. You must want to have a better life for yourself and the way in which you live.  By putting faith words into action, those actions bring change.   As your thinking changes, your life rearranges. You are transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Going After Your Dreams

Envision where you want to be. Know that it will be a step-by-step process.                                         Don’t let negative thoughts stop you from pursuing your dreams.

Setting Goals And Doing Them

Think about what you want to do. Write them down and in order of importance. Make them happen one goal at a time. Keep going at it. Do not stop.

Being Around Positive People Who Value You

You feel better when you surround yourself with positive people. Positive people change and improve your quality of life. Positive people who value you are like treasures found in unexpected places.

 

Practicing Forgiveness

 Forgiveness is particularly important. When you forgive others, you free yourself from wrong thoughts you have towards another person.  If you do not forgive, you become sick, your thoughts are unhealthy, and your lifestyle has no sustainability because you have carried a grudge towards another person.  No one is perfect. We all have flaws. You must examine yourself and change the way you think by renewing your mind.

But Helen, I do not want to forgive.  I want to hold on to my past issues.  I want to hold on to my bitterness.  My friend, when you truly choose to forgive others, especially those who hurt you, whether with words or actions, it helps you to free yourself from stress and anxiety. 

Trust me, I know it is not easy to forgive others that hurt us but think of the good things that happen when you forgive. It far outweighs the bad that has been already done, in fact it is a beautiful feeling.  You can never be genuinely happy if you have unforgiveness in your heart.  Forgiveness must become part of your life. When you deeply and sincerely understand that no one is perfect, you can continue to have a normal relationship with others, even if they never apologized. Forgiving yourself, is the best part of forgiveness.

When you forgive, it is not only saying, I forgive you but also a decision to not hold on to past hurts. It is letting go of negativity whether the person deserves it or not. Some people will make up their mind, never to speak to you again because of their own selfish reasons for not forgiving you. Do not let that be an issue. When you come to understand and know yourself for who you are, forgiveness becomes easy. Leave the past behind. 

Let your words be of grace and seasoned with salt. Always take the high road and choose to be the better one.

Learning To Love Others

 Everyone wants to be valued.  In other to value others, you must first value yourself.

 Appreciate people.  Do not judge them.  Make time for them.  When you make time for people, it shows that you have interest, and you acknowledge them.

Invest in them.  By this I mean, spend some quality time in knowing what they like to do and how you can help them achieve their goals.

Encourage them.  Give them a word of encouragement.  They might be waiting for someone to give them a good word, they may be feeling down, lonely or discouraged.  You may be helping someone who is going through some rough times.  A word of encouragement can help them tremendously.

Ask them – How they are doing?  That means a lot.  It shows that you are thinking of them.

Be patient.  Patience is especially important. 

How To Reduce Stress

 Stress is the feeling of being overwhelmed or unable to cope with mental or emotional pressure. 

Stress can be caused by overwhelming responsibilities. Everyone sometimes feels stress from time to time. Stress can affect your health so you should be careful how you deal with it. Do not let it get the best of you.

Many people suffer with stress in the workplace. You come to work feeling overwhelmed. You bring responsibilities and issues at home to work. 

You are easily agitated and frustrated about things and have difficulty relaxing. You cannot quiet your mind. Family issues, you are not speaking to each other. You cannot separate yourself from family drama, and issues that cannot be solved.

In the society we live in, innocent people are being killed for no reason, putting stress on family members.  Many families live bitter lives because they cannot get along with each other causing stress not only for themselves, but also for those close to them.

You can relieve stress by:

• Get enough sleep.
• Exercising.
• Eat healthy.
• Laugh.
• Meditate.

You can relieve stress, by not taking on other people’s problems and making them your problems. Change this pattern if you do so. Your health is especially important. Try to have a relaxed mind so you can avoid the necessary tensions that comes with stress. Change the way you do things. Practice being quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. Avoid any unnecessary disagreements.

The Payoff Struggling Women Want

 

I know what it's like to feel like life is passing you by. I've been there, staring out the window, wondering if I was ever going to break free from my rut and make a real change in my life. But let me tell you something - you can do it, no matter how hard it seems. Change can be scary, but it's worth it. 

It's time to take control of your life and start making the changes that will lead you to a better, happier future. Start by taking a step back and examining what it is that you want out of life. What do you want to achieve? What would make you truly happy? Once you have an answer to these questions, you can start taking action. 
Maybe you want to travel, or start a business, or quit your job and pursue a different career. Whatever it is, it's time to take the plunge and make it happen. Don't be afraid to take risks and make mistakes, because mistakes are part of the learning process. And don't let fear hold you back. 

Life change isn't easy, and it takes a lot of courage. But if you're brave enough to make the leap, you'll be rewarded with a newfound sense of freedom and happiness. So take a deep breath, and go for it! You won't regret it.